The empty closet syndrome

The best part about this weekend was that I could afford to write almost everyday. Weekends like this are a blessing, especially compared to the ones when I am struggling to write review papers and achieving deadlines! Moreover, this weekend is extra special, as we are getting treated to a buffet dinner at an Indian restaurant on the occasion of the first marriage anniversary of one our best friends here, in Purdue.

So, as I get up from my bed and strategically face my closet, I think aloud, “what should I wear today?” This expression, momentarily took me back to my closet in India. I thought of all the pampering acts I was subjected to, especially by my grand father (aaba, as I used to call him). Whenever he would come to meet us and no matter how long he stayed with us, he would buy me a new dress each and every day! I wish he was still around! In later days, I would pity my father, who had the unfortunate fortune of living with three ladies in one house (me, my sister and my mother, to be specific). He would wander around the house, all ready for a social evening and as he stood behind me, I would exclaim, “Baba, I have nothing to wear!” He would reach out for his glasses and start squinting his eyes, just to clarify if his vision was not deceiving him. His honest vision would show him heaps of clothes that were stacked in multiple rows and columns, clothes that were hanging with a space less that one centimeter from each other. He confirmed again if I was definitely sure that I had nothing to wear. It was like King Midas exploring his multiple treasures and still wanting more. I felt the urge of counselling my father about this “empty closet syndrome”. But, I let that be for the moment.

Many would feel that this does not relate to them, but I know many others who are equally inflicted with this syndrome. Again, its not that we don’t have clothes to wear. But, there are a few tests that need to be done before the final selection. There is something called as a repeatability test. Have we wore this before in the same group of friends with whom we are going out today? I remember a dialog from the film Masoom, where Shabana Azmi’s friend says to her, “Hey, isn’t this the necklace that you wore even at Sheetal’s party?” It’s like a blunt knife stab in your heart. Ouch! Then there is a culture test. Is it fine if I explore wearing an Indian outfit, even if it is not mutually decided among other friends to do so? Would I look like an outcast? This is followed by the matching and re-matching tests. Does this pair of jeans (the shade, the cut, the color) go with the top (or T-shirt) I have selected? There would even be a multiple wear test. There are some clothes that you have worn so many times for the past few years and have passed the above tests initially. But, now, they keep failing. At such times, the best solution is to let some time pass. Avoid wearing these clothes for a few months and then surprise everyone by wearing it again sometime when they are least expecting you to wear it. “Oh! You still have this! It always looked so good on you. Keep wearing it!” There you pass the multiple wear test! It is also important to consider the factor of weather conditions and time. When there is a time constraint, find a rescue in sweat shirts. A very saddening thought would cross my mind. It was so much better in India! Just one tropical weather all the time, with a sprinkle of rains and a dash of cold once in a while. Grab any pair of jeans, put on a kurta and off you go. Add a rain jacket if its raining or a thicker denim jacket if its cold.

At this point, I am sure you will question, who cares? Do you think people watch you so intently that they remember what you wore each time you met them? I would say, hell yes, they do! I have got feedbacks from even the most uninterested people around.

Rarely will the clothes tear off (and its exciting if your pair of jeans tears off naturally!). So, its confusing if I should discard them. And sometimes, they are related to some age old incidents (like I met my first crush when I was wearing this!), which makes you keep them permanently in your closet. But, that doesnt mean you want to wear it again. In India, our deeply concerned mothers would sometimes find a good exchange utensil by giving away some of our “unused” clothes, and also act defensive by saying, I am collecting these utensils for your marriage girl!

By saying all this, I would not claim that I shop at any given opportunity, that I am a complete extravagant person, that I am a total fashionable person or that I can win a best dressed competition at any given social outing! Not at all! All of my empty closet syndrome stays within the empty closet and I am a very simple person out of the closet. However, no matter how full your closet is, you would still feel like you have nothing to wear! And its perfectly normal. It just proves that you are considerate towards others opinions and care what they think. Thus, there is no cure for this syndrome but palliative care is available! 😉